Mark and Who?
by KikiEatsKibble
Summary: This fic takes place during season 8, after Mark and Becky are married but before Darlene and David tie the knot. We explore the possibility of Mark taking an interest in Darlene instead of Becky.
1. Chapter 1

Mark, Darlene, and DJ are the only three people home. Roseanne and Dan have gone bowling with Crystal and Jackie, and David has gone to pick Becky up from work because Mark had to work late and didn't get off in time to get her himself. DJ is upstairs while Darlene attempts to make dinner and Mark is now home, waiting in the living room for his wife.

Darlene strolls casually into the living room.

"Dinner should be ready in about…" she holds up a brochure for Pizza Palace, "thirty minutes or less."

From the couch, Mark smirks, half-heartedly.

Darlene notices a look of worry on his face.

"What's wrong? Did you forget which way to point the remote again?" she jokes.

"Darlene, Becky and David should've been back by now. Beck works like 10 minutes from here."

"Well yeah, Mark, unless they got lost." Darlene said while shaking her head slowly in mock-sadness, "I knew we should've had them micro chipped."

"Will ya cut it out with the jokes? I'm serious!"

As those words leave his mouth, Becky and David enter through the front door. Mark shoots David an accusing glare, while Darlene looks at Becky the same way. Becky speaks first.

"What?" she asks and motions with one hand grasping a foam coffee cup from Sweet Things Café.

"What's that?" Darlene asks in a casual tone.

"We stopped for a muffin, Darlene. It's no big deal…" David stumbles through his words.

Mark's eyes become angry as his cheeks begin to flush. Seeing this, Becky hurries to him with an embrace.

"Let's go upstairs, hun," she says, taking his hands in hers, "I want out of these work clothes."

Becky kisses her husband on the cheek, then happily bounds upstairs before him. Shortly after, Mark begins up the stairs, but stops at the third step.

"Hey, Darlene?" he begins.

"Yeah?" she asks, half expectantly.

"Let us know when the pizza gets here."

"Will do."

The two of them share a small, joyous gaze for a few fleeting seconds. Time seems to stand still, making Darlene almost anxious. Mark feels like he's back in high school flirting with a pretty girl. He then begins back up the stairs to join Becky in the bedroom.

After witnessing this whole awkward scene, David stands across the room in silence. What could this mean? The events soon to come would surely cause all of them to reevaluate their ideas of what it means to promise someone their unconditional love.


	2. Chapter 2

-Next Morning-

Becky is asleep and David is upstairs getting ready for the day. DJ is at a friend's house and Dan is showering. Mark and Darlene sit at the table waiting for Roseanne to finish breakfast. The whole kitchen smells of eggs, coffee, and cinnamon. Mark reads the newspaper while Darlene reads an old comic that she and David made a long time ago. Occasionally, Darlene will look at Mark across the table with thoughtful eyes. Roseanne notices this a few times and attempts to interrupt it by loudly dropping the French toast onto the table. She succeeds, momentarily.

"So, what are you guys up to today?" she turns to Mark first. "Mark?"

He casually slathers his toast in syrup, not looking up to meet Roseanne's eyes.

"Umm- well, that new Fast Lane movie's comin' out today. I was thinkin' me and Becky'd go see it."

"Good idea!" she grins, happy that her son-in-law will be spending time with his wife.

"What about you, Darlene?" she turns to her daughter.

Darlene shrugs it off while silently wishing the rest of the family was here for her mother to harass.

"Those movies are stupid. They're just a bunch of sweaty mechanics drooling over some racecar-loving bimbos in tight shorts. It's pathetic."

"Hey, those movies are awesome- a great American past time, even!" Mark protests.

""Oh, please," she continues, "Fast Lane is stupid and anyone who would go see it is twice as stupid."

Just as these words leave her mouth, David enters from the living room with a smile on his face.

"Darlene, guess what I got!"

"Pubic hair?" she jests, causing Roseanne to almost choke on her orange juice.

David rolls his eyes and ignores her comment.

"Two tickets to see Fast Lane tonight! I won 'em off the radio. Isn't that cool!"

Mark and Roseanne give Darlene a look that says, "Who's stupid now?"

"Well, that should be fun, Darlene. I think your dad and I might take DJ and go see it, too. It'll be like a family movie night, 'cept I won't get stuck vacuuming popcorn out of the carpet in the morning." Rosie jokes.


	3. Chapter 3

-At the theater-

The Connors and the Healys are at the MoviePlex getting snacks before the film begins. Roseanne is hauling a jumbo bucket of popcorn and a Supersize Slushee, with various boxes of candy stored in a purse the size of a diaper bag. Dan and DJ are carrying their drinks (root beer for Dan, cola for DJ) and chatting about new flicks coming at Christmas time. Not one to feel "tacky" by smuggling treats in, Darlene is at the snack counter ordering for David and herself. Mark is waiting by the claw machines while Becky uses the bathroom.

"Alright, gimme a large popcorn with extra butter, some Junior Mints, two sodas, some Twizzlers…" her list goes on and on.

As the employees hand her the items, she piles each one higher and higher in David's hands. The treats tower so high David can barely walk to the movie room. Carelessly, his girlfriend walks ahead of him without holding the door. Becky exits the restroom and spots Mark feeding quarters to a crane machine. Rolling her eyes, she turns to David.

"Hey, David. Need a hand?"

"Uh- well, umm…sure, Becky. You don't have to, you know. I mean, it wouldn't be mannerly for a man to ask a lady to carry his snacks."

Becky laughs at the thought.

"Don't be silly! I'd love to help."

Slowly, the family makes its way into the dark theater. That is, everyone but Mark, who has to be chastised by Becky to stop playing and come along.

"I was gonna a win you a rhino! Geeze!" he pouts.

Inside, the Connors take up almost an entire row of seats. The order is: DJ, Dan, Roseanne, Darlene, David, Becky, and Mark.

As the picture starts to play, everyone gets settled into their seats. The opening credits begin to roll and they all begin handing out the food.

The dialogue goes like this:

Roseanne: DJ, pass the popcorn!

DJ: Okay but hand me some candy.

Dan: Hey, Darlene, gimme some o' them Junior Mints.

Darlene: No way! Get your own.

David: C'mon, Darlene, Mr. Conner likes those.

Darlene: Ah, fine.

Becky: Mark, stop throwing kernels at the screen!

Mark: Oh come on, Becky. Nobody's gonna say anything. Hey, I never got a soda!

Darlene: Chill out, Tweedle Dumb. You can have mine and David and I can share.

Everyone stares in shock at Darlene's sudden generosity.

"I like to help out the slow and less fortunate," she scrambles to explain.

About halfway through the movie, Darlene reaches to her left to hand David their soda. Overestimating the distance, she drops the entire beverage onto Becky's lap.


	4. Chapter 4

Becky shrieks and jumps up, sending ice cubes and soda to the floor.

"Darlene!" she cries.

Not surprisingly, Darlene barely reacts to the incident even though she secretly feels bad. Now, everyone is looking at her for a response or apology. After a few seconds, Roseanne speaks up.

"Darlene, don't you have anything to say?"

"Yes, actually. You might wanna go dry off, Princess. The smell of wet dog might offend the other movie goers."

Angry and humiliated, the older Conner sister storms out of the show room.

"Darlene, that was a jerk move. Go apologize to your sister!" Roseanne is not laughing.

"Ha! The queen of drama? No way!"

"Well, SOMEBODY better go say somethin' to her."

"SHHH!" comes from the audience.

"'SHH' yourself!" Roseanne retaliates.

She begins again, this time in a quieter tone.

"SOMEONE needs to talk to her… someone besides me."

"Why don't you go, Rosie?" Dan inquires.

"Because I'm trying to watch the movie!"

Seeing how this tense moment, and also that Mark has been asleep this whole time, David excuses himself to go find her. Roseanne finds it odd that David has gone to comfort Becky, but leaves it alone. As he leaves, Darlene looks left and sees Mark snoozing away with his head rested on his arm. While everyone else is watching racers compete and argue, she can't take her eyes off of him.

-Later-

The movie ends and the family exits the building (except for Becky and David). About halfway home, Dan and DJ are discussing their favorite parts of the film and Mark and Darlene are silent in the back seats.

"Hey, isn't something missing?" Roseanne asks.

"Hey, yeah! David and Becky aren't here." DJ answers, embarrassed to admit he hasn't noticed until now.

"Well, where do you 'spose they ran off to?" Mark asks nervously, trying to keep his usual laid-back tone.

"No worries, guys. I bet they caught a cab and they're on their way home right now." Dan reassures the others.

Unfortunately, they realize upon returning home that their guesses were incorrect.


	5. Chapter 5

-2 Hours Later-

Everyone is in the living room waiting for David and Becky to arrive. Dan is furious.

"Dammit, where the hell are they?"

"I don't know, Dan. Come to think of it, does anyone remember seeing them come back after the soda incident?" Roseanne turns to Darlene.

Everyone says "No," almost in unison.

A few seconds go by in silence. Suddenly, the front door swings open and in walk David and Becky. Becky is holding a cup of coffee and David seems nervous. Nobody speaks at first. After a few moments, Darlene leaves the room and goes down to the basement. Dan and Roseanne head to bed, too tired to argue or blame anyone. They are just glad that everyone is home now. DJ is tired and goes to his room. Mark is noticeably angry, stomping up the stairs as he makes his way to the upstairs bedroom. Becky tells David good night before joining her husband.

Later in the night (around midnight), Darlene goes up to the kitchen for a snack. Everyone else is asleep except for Mark, who she finds rustling through the refrigerator.

"Hey, Mark."

He jumps, almost hitting his head on the freezer door.

"What, that's it? I'm just "Mark" now? Not "Jug head", "Tweedle Dumb" or "Ol' Stupid" tonight? Man, stuff around here's getting' weirder and weirder."

He sits at the table and Darlene joins him.

"Eh- I'm just out of it, I guess. I've been saving all my best insults for Becky."

Mark snickers and gives her a sweet little smile.

"Yeah... Her and David seem to really be hittin' it off, huh?"

"Tell me about it…" Darlene agrees with a quiver in her voice.

Tears begin to form in her soft, dark eyes. Without thinking, Mark reaches forward. Tenderly, he wipes a drop from below her left eye, just as it reaches her cheek.

"Hey, hey," Mark says in a soft voice, trying to comfort her.

"Sorry. I just hate how my boyfriend's fallen for the biggest idiot I know… except for you, of course." she winks.

"Well, at least you always got me." he smiles, unaffected by her joke.

Suddenly, the room is bright. Mark turns his head and Darlene whirls around to see Roseanne standing in the doorway with her hand on the light switch, looking suspicious.

"Hey, Mom." Darlene says in a sort of daze while wiping her eyes.

"Hey, Darlene, Mark…" she replies, with accusing emphasis on the name "Mark", "What're you guys doing?"

Mark seems unmoved by his mother-in-law's unusual tone toward him. He keeps his eyes fixated on the young woman across from him.

"We were just sayin' goodnight. G'nite, Darlene."

Darlene closes her eyes and nods.

"G'night, Mark."

Somehow, feeling his name on her lips made her heart tremble. When did he go from "Ol' Stupid" to something more? Mark sweeps through the living room and up the stairs. Darlene has no time to think as her mother's sharp tone jolts her back to reality.

"I saw you two tonight. I saw how you looked at him and let me just tell you that you're playin' with fire, Darlene, and-"

"Oh, come on…"

Darlene grumbles and stand up to leave, but her mom continues as she steps toward her daughter and leans on the counter.

"Look, I know as well as any woman that we cannot always control how we feel. But you gotta think about someone besides yourself, Darlene."

"Mom-"

"No! I'm not done!" she interrupts.

As she continues, her voice gets less angry and more loving, yet sad.

"You've gotta think about all the people you'd be hurting. You've gotta think…"

With this final statement, Roseanne exits the kitchen and heads back to bed, leaving Darlene alone to reflect.


End file.
